Weekly blog 1

If you are reading this, then you have found my website and hopefully will have an interest in my forthcoming books.  Information and details about myself can be found on this website and within the contents of my books.

I am the person I describe here and in my books.  I am without question an “imperfect human” doing my best to survive in the “imperfect world” that we live in.  I have survived with life changing mental illness since the beginning of COVID, and most notably during the first part of 2025, which is documented predominantly in my first two books.  I am currently in a phase of recovery mentally and physically, staying with my loving parents for the support that I currently need.  I was misdiagnosed and mistreated for my mental illness for an extended period of time.  I do have Ativan dependent selective mutism (see article included) associated with my underlying anxiety and depression, and continue to fight the battle I must face with such an uncommon diagnosis every moment of every day.  The frustrations I face with being an intelligent, cognitively intact person unable to completely verbalize my thoughts and feelings is a reality I face 24/7.  I was appropriately diagnosed at first by my own research and experimentation with Ativan in mid April of this year, with the diagnosis confirmed by a talented local psychiatrist whom I found by random chance.  There was a day when I did my own “Lorazepam Challenge Test” (see article), when I truly did lose the ability to generate any positive conversation, simply responding to direct questions and asking direct questions with nothing more I could really say.  This lasted for most of one day until I had the fortunate insight to take a dose of Ativan and much of my speech returned within approximately one hour. The horrifying nature of that experience is difficult to explain.  Suffice it to say I would not wish that condition on anyone – it was terrifying.  Details of this experience will be found in my second book. Fortunately, I have been receiving Ativan treatment since that time and, while I remain “imperfect” with speech, I can at least now function in society and communicate the important points that I need to express.

Combine my mental illness struggles with the physical limitations of an Achilles tendon rupture requiring two surgeries and a long road ahead of physical therapy that also through misfortune happened early this year has put me in a difficult place of balancing my time trying to get back to my job that I love, reconnecting with friends and family, seeking out new relationships, pursuing my new found passion for book writing, and doing all of this while continuing to push myself every day to continue my mental and physical health recovery.

The lessons I have learned over the past few months are myriad.  I want to share the lessons I’ve learned and advocate for improved mental health care. I hope this blog page will help me connect with people who need support and allow me to be a resource for them. I also look forward to receiving input from others. Your insights and experiences matter—please feel free to share your own stories or suggestions in the comments. Together, we can create a supportive and understanding community.  I seek mutual benefit as I continue to make the journey forward in life and as always hope that many of you will share the journey with me.

Please feel free to reply and reach out to me.  I would love to hear from any of you with questions, comments, and/or opportunities to collaborate in a meaningful way.