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Welcome back to those who have been here before and hello to those that may be here for the first time. Things in my world have been moving steadily forward since I last wrote a blog.

The most notable update is that “My Mental Health Story” has finally found its way onto Amazon and Barnes and Noble websites for pre-order! The book cover will be updated on those sites to the latest version shortly. The book is with the publishers and being converted into final proof format for publication. Seeing my first ever book finally out where the real world can view it is hard to even fathom at the moment. It is a dream come true for me and definitely a “bucket list” item. It gives me a sense of accomplishment but also encourages me to continue with the next books. I am truthfully enjoying my newfound passion for writing.

For those interested, I have expanded my “Mental Health Resources” tab and created new content under the “Give” tab. The resources listed are to the best of my knowledge and experience reasonable places or organizations for the delivery of mental health help. The charitable businesses and organizations listed are similarly to the best of my knowledge worthy of financial and/or volunteering donations. I hope that both tabs can be helpful.

There have been notable mistakes I have made along the way during this author journey, but they just reenforce that I am the “imperfect human” I have previously described. As always, the important piece is the learning part that comes with new experiences and unforeseen mistakes. So many famous individuals and famous quotations have eloquently described the concept of learning from one’s mistakes, and for good reason. I personally like what Frank Herbert wrote in his famous “Dune” novel, that “Without new experiences, something inside of us sleeps. The sleeper must awaken.” If I can help guide anyone considering writing a book, add a question and I can certainly do my best to provide assistance.

I now am turning my attention to making Book 2 “The Path Uncertain” a reality. This is the book that will cover the most significant parts of my mental health journey, and I suspect will be in many difficult to write but with the most personal meaning. It will be my opportunity to truly share the deep dark places where my mind found nothing but uncertainty and at times true hopelessness. Sharing it will truly be putting myself out in front of the world to see, which is on the one hand frightening and on the other hand rewarding as the cathartic experience I anticipate it to be. As I conclude my current daily journals it will be a true situation of “we shall see…”

My current mental health status has shown slow but steady improvement as I see it. My Ativan dose slowly decreases and my speech and mood seem to hold steady. The positive experiences staying with my parents and following my treatment and therapy plans, combined with a sense of increasing confidence, are making the steady progress of healing continue. I don’t think I will ever be “cured” of mental health concerns anymore than I believe that there is any person without some underlying mental health issues. It many ways I feel better knowing my issues and now understanding methods of coping.

As for my Achilles, there is similar slow and steady progress. My orthopedist noted in my four month post operative follow up appointment yesterday that he considers me “ahead of schedule”. I will likely never regain full strength in that leg but I am now more comfortably walking. No more boot for me which is a not so subtle improvement – I feel more “normal” walking around and I am able to drive a car once more. It was the beginning of April last I could say that! You don’t realize how limiting not being able to drive a car is until it happens to you. The key now is consistent steady physical therapy and the exercises they have taught me. One leg exercises including balancing, the use of tension bands, and still “playing with my marbles” are the mainstays of my strength and coordination building. My neighborhood “walks” have become a significant part of my day-to-day existence. Originally, I was in my boot and known as the “boot man” throughout the neighborhood. This earned me significant attention and allowed me to meet many new people. Walking without the boot now is less noticeable but by now I have made enough acquaintances that I am seemingly always stopping to talk to someone. Walks have become a combined way for me to get physical improvement and allowed me to “test” my speech skills meeting and interacting with new people.

Overall, I would say that my life continues on a positive trend. I currently maintain a daily journal of my “plan of the day” followed by a recording of the actual events of each day. I have been doing this since roughly May, becoming more consistent and detailed over time. It is an interesting exercise to make a best laid “plan” for the next day and then to see what actually occurs. Every day offers unique unforeseen twists and turns just as life should. This reality keeps all of us constantly “on our toes”, teaches us adaptability, and shapes who we are. Responsibly we plan for the things we need and want and then make the best out of the course of events as they unfold. My current journaling is the basis for my fourth book, which in my mind is steadily forming but lacks much other than the raw journal content. It will be another stimulating project I anticipate.

I again hope that those visiting my website will find at least one thing of interest or help. I also hope that those reading this will take an interest in my books and through the course of reading them understand my reality. With understanding I wish that my story is of benefit to my readers in at least a small way, and further pray that I am an example of how to survive struggles and come out of the tunnel to find a new and perhaps better life.

As always, please do add appropriate questions or comments as you see fit. I would enjoy trying to answer what questions I can, and am open to all reasonable feedback.

If you are reading this, then I hope you have found my website with a goal of exploring some part of my world.  I appreciate your patience as I am working on bit by bit piecing this website together while putting the finishing touches on Book One.  The first book should be available during the week of 9/15 in the hardback and paperback form.

Other updates regarding the books and website would include:  A picture of the third book cover should be available this week on the website as well with the majority of that book’s manuscript completed; completing Book 2 is definitely my next big project as this will truly be the most difficult and meaningful of the books personally- I want to get it “just right” before it is released with a goal of the next few weeks seeming reasonable at this point – stay tuned; Book 3 should follow that in short order; the mental health resources will be expanded as I reach out to smaller groups with which I have personal experience or knowledge; and the merchandising section will be expanded to a much more complete set of offerings as I get an opportunity to work with the appropriate vendors this next week to make options more meaningful and personal (suggestions always welcome).

I remain the “imperfect human” I have previously noted and which my first and second books will make obvious.  My mental health journey continues.  I remain on Ativan at a relatively low dose, as well as the same anti-depressant therapy.  My speech issues seem largely stable relative to my last writing – imperfect but functional.  Trying to get all of my thoughts converted into words remains a challenge as does carrying on equal conversations.  I have increased my social opportunities with new friendships I have found and new participation in local chess clubs.  The only way to improve my speech is to keep putting myself in new social environments and challenging myself – I will perservere!

As far as my physical recovery, I am no longer wearing a “boot” and get to live in shoes full time.  Physical therapy is a daily reality, be it at my PT center, at home, taking walks, or my new habit of swimming.  The strength of my surgical leg is steadily but slowly improving.  I mostly enjoy the rehabilitation knowing the benefit it is having and with my goal oriented personality kicking in as always.  The most unusual exercise is trying to pick up marbles (possible future merchandising item) with my weak toes.  It seems silly but truly does make a difference in my ability to walk.  And my walks are one of my key ways to meet new people and socialize in new ways.  I was known in the neighborhood as the “boot man” and have developed a regular route with numerous known neighbors, which makes my walks a pleasant experience.  They are a good mixture of time to think and time to socialize.  I enjoy building new bridges.

To that end, I am hoping that as my books become published, people read them, and this website becomes increasingly functional, there will an opportunity for me to make connections with any number of like-minded individuals to expand my social network for the betterment of myself, those I connect with, and potentially beyond.

So feel free to respond and share whatever you are comfortable sharing.  In turn I will do my best to respond.  Thanks to all of you reading this for being willing to share in any way you can in my continued mental health journey.